The Freezing Air in the Car

Celebrated Hak's belated 19th birthday at Chili's in Mid Valley.

I like the yellow neon light sign hanging outside the restaurant, ensconced between Mid Valley and the Gardens.

To be surrounded by luxury itself is a kind of luxury.

Overall, yesterday was a good day. Like most of my days.

Not to say I'm carefree and take things easily, despite being dubbed so by mom and dad. No use crying over spilled milk, and you'll have to live through the hours of the day.

As working folks, especially those who have direct contact with clients, you can't afford to put out a sad or angry face in front of customers, can you? Service with a smile, remember?

Another thing is, God is always there. I believe that He wants all of us to be happy. Even in bad times, I believe there is a reason for the suffering, I'll just take the pain and tell myself I'm learning something.

Pain management. Anger management. Whatever.

Or even, as a punishment for the sins I've done that He took it to the cross. I mean, they're paid for but I feel that I need to be punished too.

So why was it a good day? It's a birthday celebration, it's supposed to be good. That's one.

Although, being isolated and ostracised did dampen me a little. But nevermind, lesser homo action = lesser mental torture. Lol.

I'm happy to see them together again. As she told me, body language is extremely important. Even though the 'official' question wasn't asked, I felt the intimacy from across the table. Cloying sweetness was in the air.

He's so much happier. A big change, I would say. She's happy. And that's the essence of it. I think there is no need for the 'official' question: would you be my boyfriend/girlfriend? That's so external to a relationship. What matters is the heart and the emotional alliance that you forge, whether in silence or vocally.

It was delicious to see them playing around and acting like gays.

I don't abhor it; I don't particularly like it. It's just... entertaining to watch. You know how sometimes you think something is so utterly disgusting, but you kept looking at it anyway. That's human nature.

Watching them makes me feel blessed. I'm blessed to have them as friends. Viewing it from the point of view of a movie critic, I'd say it's the typical scene every coming-of-age film will have. Youth, frivolity, laughter, carpe diem, the faint hint of maturity --- the embodiment of being 19.

The smell of his car lingers on my hair. Thanks to the freezing air-conditioner.

And I thought cute and shy boys in my age group no longer exist. For once, it felt good to be cared for and pampered. 'Cause I was always protected. They gave me a full armour to war; they didn't give me a fire to warm myself.

P/S: I am so not in a relationship. Just break up with Chieh. Sad...