I'm torn apart by demands and pleads
All from my friends and enemies
Friends plead me to stay so they will not miss me
The enemies' horn shouts, "No Retreat!!"

I've been thinking of this for a long time.

I wanna transfer to another school.

Since 13th June, 2005, when I was still in Form 2.

The school I'm in now, is neither bad, nor good. Just on the average side.

I found friends and teachers who love and care for me there, fortunately true friendship.

I found foes and haters who dislike and bad-mouth me, unfortunately genuine hatred.

We should be optimistic right, always looking at the bright side.

But, all I can see is a weak glimmer in the midst of darkness.

Fate arranged Mr. Z to announce about transfering to boarding schools, I happily took a form from him.

I was thinking of transfering to Catholic High School or Convent Bukit Nanas before that offer, now, I'm thinking of the prestigous college in Kuala Kangsar.

Friends tried advising me not to take this leap, using reasons that they will miss me and etcetera. Being quite a stubborn debater, I replied them by telling them about the advance of technology nowadays.

I will still find enemies in other schools, and I'm aware of it. But, the idea of it did not stop me.

As I said, I'm stubborn.

I took months and months to think about this, considering and reconsidering timelessly. And finally I came to the final verdict, and I believe God Almighty agree with me.

To tell the truth...

I was unhappy most of the time spending in this school, this class, and this gang of classmates.

Being a naive little girl at the start, I did not acknowledge the world is cruel, till I overheard an exchanging of words by 2 of my classmate and schoolmate.

Since then, I overheard a lot of rumours, lies, and facts of me. Whether is it of my hair, my appearance, my attitude, my words, my work and even my body style, was all negative from their mouths.

I told myself, I have friends who are true here, I can stick with them and believe them.

Fate turned its back on me.

Some of these so-called 'friends' seemed like they're using me, as a partner when the others were not around, or when they're bored. If they're enjoying and having fun, I was cast away from the crowd. Some lied to me that they're talking about other things, whereby in truth they're bad-mouthing me.

Heart broken, dreams shattere, tears shed, hopes gone.

I tried tolerating all these and enjoy my own life, but things got worse and I know that......

I can't take it anymore.

But, facing the demands for me to leave, and pleads for me to stay, I'm confused of whether to leave, or to stay......

And now, I decided to go, no matter what.

If my friends hate me for this, thus prooves that, they are the fakers.

I shall go and leave this place of lies......

Forever.