Most of the impressive vocabulary that I frequently used in my earlier writings are like my old friends: lost, gone. The pieces where they are found are the only proofs I have of our acquaintance.
I have come to enjoy Singapore tremendously. There's the company I have, of course. Then there's the terribly efficient public transports system. It looks like a contented city state, in the eyes of a financially-challenged tourist like me. Me, a tourist, going to Singapore to enjoy what it has to offer tourists, away from the infamous rat race that is the working environment of Singapore.
Where should I travel to next? It wasn't a thorough tour of Cambodia, my previous holiday, but I covered a good few places and seen quite a number of sights. Jetting off to Yogyakarta in November to see the majestic Borobodur and its neighbouring ruins. There's something about ruins that appeal to me. One tries to reimagine the stories of those who have once dwelled in them: the owners of the feet that once walked the grounds; the voices that once resonated through the corridors; the memories of those who were once and never more.
I've been eyeing Laos, but the airfare is a little too pricey. I'd gladly pay that price to go to Australia, really. And going to Australia is like going to Singapore, with the state of the Malaysian ringgit now. The bad news is that going to Singapore is like going to Australia.
Bouquets of flowers are messy -- they die -- and thus I wonder what is the appeal in them that people love them so much. Someone asked me if I would be happy to receive a bouquet of flowers from someone, as a sign of the sender's affections to me. I realised then it is to appease one's vanity. So yes, I would like to receive a bouquet of flowers as a sign of someone's affections to me.
In fact, I'd like to receive any form of pleasant gifts as a sign of someone's affections to me. I am a girl after all.
An advice given to me was that I shouldn't go against my feminine nature. I was born and made a female, it is expected that I adhere to my biological, concurrently psychology, 'reflexes'. While I have come to terms with it -- which was a horribly difficult thing to do, what with the negative connotations associated with most feminine traits -- I think good can come from trying to shirk off some traits that are detrimental to interpersonal relationships as well as job progresses.
I still do think that these 'traits' are part of the characteristics assigned to the social construct that is a female. However, I do not see the point of fighting them so vehemently as some feminazis do. In my 0.02 Malaysian ringgit's worth of opinion, the first step to overcoming something is not to deny it, but to come to terms with the assumption or reality of possessing it, and then move on from there.
I miss writing poetry. I used to be able to string up a 4-line rhymed stanza with ease during my high school days. Free verse came later. Now, nothing. To plagiarise that sweet-talking / -writing Pablo Neruda:
Counting the nights between our separate cities
To the night that we should chance upon each other's faces again
- in the flesh -
The nights so long,
Reunions so short,
Goodbyes so fleeting.
The steadfastness that I hold onto every
"I'll see you again soon",
If only that's enough to bring your warmth to me
As surely as every goodbye is imminent,
The happiness that is me,
My every night,
Mine.
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