Thursday, September 6

Sensation de Finale

I should be doing my Add Maths project now, but my passion for writing just ignited.

Yen doesn't seem to be in a good mood these days. Xia said that it's Pre-Exam Sydrome, Yen's not that sociable whenever exams draw near.

I felt very bad during the last time I made her so angry. The reason lies unknown. If I made others angry I won't feel that guilty and uneasy.

The queer thing was that she talked to me the next day. Although she mentioned in her blog that she won't forgive me (which also means, talk to me) if I didn't apologise. I didn't apologise until I read that post, which was later that day.

When Wai Mun's 'premature language' heated up the coal above Yen's head, the latter was obviously very angry.

How should I put it? I don't know whether is it considered as defending but... I sorta defended her, in a way. To be frank, that only made me dislike Wai Mun more. I could have slapped him in front of the 3 of them.

Hardly, I hardly dislike someone. Even if I dislike them, it did not reach such level that I felt like beating them up. So, what kind of an attitude (or preference) this guy sitting opposite me, facing me, possess that could make me so infuriated?

By the looks, he is perfectly harmless. I can't even make him angry. Like I always told him in class, "Your emotions are like a dead person's heartbeat, FLAT."

I gotta admit I treated him like how I treat others that I don't dislike in the beginning of the year. Yet now it's a totally different story. What drove me to dislike him so much??

Notice that I didn't use the word 'hate'? I believe 'hate' is a strong word, far too strong to describe this angst. Futhermore, I believe hating someone only makes the hater go through twice as much pain if compared to the one being hated.

The moment I look at him, hear his voice... I'm like an active volcano, lava could flow anytime.

Even when the lava is 0.1cm from the surface, I still held back.

Because there's a paper in class called 'borang kawalan' (literally translated as 'control form', used to control students).

Obviously he had enough of my responses to him.
Obviously he knew I dislike him.
Obviously he saw that Yen shared the same thoughts as I.

And why doesn't he give up and back off?

Because...

Obviously there's someone who doesn't look at him and treat him the way I do.
Obviously there's always someone who willingly and happily talks to him.
Obviously there's this someone who will use soft and kind language towards him.

Not that I dislike the 'someone' too, but...

Nevermind.

'Someone' hardly even thinks and see things the way I do. And she doesn't need to.

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