As Cold Rain Cleanses the Earth...

Another day at school.

Same routines~

The only thing different was... I have some fatal illness.

We skip PE lessons as usual, the whole PE lesson was spent in 5S4, chatting away.

After that, those who were in 5S4 (including me) came in later than Mr. Wong for Add Maths.

Add Maths, as usual, most of everyone paid attention.

Soon, the bell for recess rang.

Teresa and I went to the office to meet with Pn. Usha, considering the suggestion Teresa gave about the the gifts for our departing Secondary 5s.

Another different thing was... I skipped recess... on purpose, for some reasons.

Pn. Patricia came in for Malay class, a few of them voiced for one of the dramas in our antology --- Titik-titik Perjuangan. After Pn. Patricia gave us homework, someone came and asked if she can 'borrow' boys from our class.

She was looking for 'fat' boys. I think she meant 'big size'.

The guys were needed to help the teachers shift all the tables from the staff room to the back of the hall.

There are only tall and thin guys in our class, no fat ones. I would say they drop under the 'fit' category.

Anyway, I feel glad to be born a girl.

Suddenly, the class looked so empty and quiet after the guys left, 'cause there are more guys than girls in our class.

I walked around the class, played with the pins on the blue board at the end of the class.

It happened so sudden that something flashed in my mind and I was on my way back to my desk and continued my unfinished Add Maths homework.

When the whole class broke into noisy chatter, I slowly felt the noise fading and drifted into my own little world.

Often I wonder... is this where I belong? Now, I'm asking myself, "Do I belong here?"

I remained there, separated from the outside world till I heard Sunny's loud shout.

Sunny, is in fact, my son.

Everyone says that we are brothers and sisters, actually he's my son. Ok, he's my little friend.

As the light drizzle became a heavy downpour, my eyes were locked at the blur sight the school field. As the cold rain touched my cheeks, I was drawn back into reality.

I made silly jokes as usual in the bus with Siew Kei and Sunny. But when I walked down the bus and into the housing area I live...

I can't help but looked up to the clear heavens after the rain, and whisper,

"Oh why Lord, did you sent me here to this place? Oh Lord, why did you let me exist?"

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