I'm like an oversized balloon, and I just let out some air this morning.
Erm... let's say I let out some water instead of air.
I've been keeping most of the irkings and unhappiness inside, just don't wanna trouble Xia, Yen and Shin.
I mean, I know they aren't very good comforters (if there's such a term), and they feel uneasy whenever one of us cry.
The most of the problems that I poured out when talking to Xia, mostly are the problems from Chinese Orchestra.
Just don't understand why, it's only this year when going to C.O. didn't sounded or seemed like a happy thing.
Suddenly I just dislike going for the activities, I even groan silently at home when I heard about the concert.
Concert = Begging money + Selling tickets.
I'm a bad member of the orchestra, I don't deny. Practical wise as well as political.
Like what I'm doing now, I'm not an optimist.
On the 26th of August there'll be another concert. You can imagine how frustrated I am.
It's all my fault :
1) I don't know how to manage my time.
2) I haven't master my instrument well.
3) I am selfish as well as over sensitive.
4) I can't be like Jiang Long who is good in balancing his life in C.O., Ed Board and school.
5) I'm unable to cope with the teacher's standards because I'm of low quality and stardard.
I've been thinking of quitting. Like now. This moment, this second.
But I can't.
When I think about the next concert, I feel that I'm irresponsible to just leave them behind.
Not forgetting to mention about what my teacher will say (actually, scold and curse) about me.
See... I'm here complaining when I ought to be studying.
Not exactly my favourite subject but... haiz... if only I could drop it for SPM~
I bury my head into the book, but the problem of whether or not to quit the concert and the orchestra kept swimming in my head.
Giving me a headache.
Headache = Frustation + Drowsy
Thus...
The book laid there in loneliness when I turned over and slept...
1 comment:
I think I'm sleepy now...
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